Tuesday, June 20, 2006
(No comments please)
I feel time going past me
And I'm sat here letting it get past me
Without any reaction either action
All this time
Spent trying to find the will power to search
For my ultimate desire in life
Find my path and my way
Along the streets filled with dust
Filled with garbage of the humans
That can’t care less about who is around
How it gets there and how it gets cleaned up
I’m tired of existing
Tired of the daily battle for who I am
For what do I want, where I want to go?
What is best for me?
Lord oh Lord
I know sometimes I don’t pray like I should
Well better like I used to
It’s been over 2 months that I haven’t prayed
Maybe cause desperation has not touched my heart
Maybe because I’m really lost and I’m just here taking each day
Taking it as it comes
Good or bad & funny or sad
It’s like time has finally given me the moment of the wakening
Time for me to choose what will be done next
I started by changing some of my things in my bedroom
Amazingly I slept in so much peace
My next step is to change how my body looks
I will finally join a gym
I hate myself
I hate looking at the mirror while putting on some clothes
Looking at this fat body, that has a weird shape to it
I have always been fat but I reached a point
That I cannot stop myself from being happy
That I cannot stop trying to make myself better
And that I can’t bare to walk into a shop anymore
See a nice shirt or t-shirt
Have the desire to buy it and then I remember how hideous I may look
So I walk out of the shop empty handed
And walk into a different shop that makes clothes that hide my fat body
Enough is enough
Monday heart recovery for a friend
Yesterday I was told how quickly Love can tear your heart apart,
I don’t remember this feeling
I feel like emotions have become numb to me
I felt your heart being smashed by a hope that was almost dead
but it’s not impossible
But when it’s for real,
your hopes should be higher and richer Stronger and longer
Maybe this person is scared
Maybe of the amount of love this person has received from you
Maybe there wasn’t hope anymore in this person's life
And you came along and changed all that for you both
All I can tell you dear friend,
Embrace Love as if you never loved before
Dance like you never danced before
Laugh like you never laughed before
Sing like you never sang before
Exist like you never have before
Don’t let them die, they might not come back
(dedicated to an egyptian friend)
Sunday, June 11, 2006
I need you !!! Do I ?
Whispers in my ears call my name
No its not my name its words of wisdom telling me to be careful
Yes I have to, I fear the sadness and the darkness
Humans? what about them?
these crazy people that co-exist with us day by day?
I’m excited to get to know these people who think they know it all but
unfortunately have been brainwashed with some sort of Nazi therapy
They have chosen to live with closed eyes
chosen to co-exist with strong values which I admire in them
on the other side the putrid of their hidden lives on the side
makes me wonder why all that sacrifice in everything else
Listening to this Happy Hardcore music makes me jump
celebrate the existence of the rhythm
Its so funny to be so sad and become so happy the next minute
I feel no stress and no pain
Life has been so hard on me and this whole cultural adaptation
(continued from 11-06-06)
My friends from London made me so happy to receive a surprise call last night
they asked me to come back as they missed me too much
my heart was full of joy as I though they had forgotten me
The sun is shining, no clouds in the sky
and its not hot as a fresh breeze welcomes the day
Wish I could have stayed in bed,
under the sheets in that cozy warmth that we all know
that feeling you know you must get up but your body is dead to the World
Oh well just another day in Egypt,
because nothing else surprises me !!!
Monday, June 05, 2006
Sem sentido, num sentido de AMAR e de recordar ? Confuso sem rumo !!!!
A caminhada pode ate ser diferente, mas os obstaculos sao multiplos, sao como cercas que me ultrapassam a cada dia, como barragens quase a transbordar.
O que parece ser pequeno nao e! O que parece grande e mais pequeno que o pequeno que pensa que e pequeno!
Confusao, caos, quem Amar?
Quem recordar?
Magoas tenho tantas dentro de minha alma e de meu ser, poemas que jorram como lagrimas sob a minha almofada que por mais moldada que esteja nunca me deixa ter aquela noite descansada e serena como aquelas noites enquanto era crianca.
AI VIDA por que te fazes tao complicada? Ou sera que sou eu proprio que nao vejo o horizonte da estabilidade, e nao vejo o ton da tua cor quente como a do por do sol que ao longe desce.
Senti algo que nunca tinha sentido tao forte, senti o Amor de alguem que me quer, senti o puro ciume que jorrava de sua alma.
Nao nos vimos, apenas conversavamos na internet, senti a dor de nao podermos estar juntos, nao pela distancia mas pela dor de nao nos podermos ver mais.
A ti dedico estas palavras, que tenhas sempre esperanca, nao te esquecas que e sempre a ultima a morrer.
So Deus sabe o que o amanha nos traz, hoje sou amanha serei...
Friday, June 02, 2006
LA VUELTITA VERDE !!!
Juan llevaba de enamorado tres años con una chica muy linda llamada Alexandra, y hasta el momento no había intentado tener relaciones sexuales con ella.
